The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
