Just fell off a train. Bad.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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