My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
