You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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