I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
