all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize