none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
