also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
