My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
