Actions speak louder than pants.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
