WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
