I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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