I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
