it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
