And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
