...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
