If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
