Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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