my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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