i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
