Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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