Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Randomize
