he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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