what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
