i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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