i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
