so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Randomize
