I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
