doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
