He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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