I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
