as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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