google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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