Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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