Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
