Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
