I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
