At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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