I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
