hotel room ftw
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
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