I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
