Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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