My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
