Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
The air was thick with penises
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
