I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
