All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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