On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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