Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
