i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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