I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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