Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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