I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
