yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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