her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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