don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
