two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Randomize
