i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Randomize
