Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Houston, we have a blender
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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