Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
