Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it ðŸ˜
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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