Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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