fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Randomize
