Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
