Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
